The art of mufta

The Art of Mufta

This being the first issue I decided that I would start with something light and comic. A levels is the training ground for the many skills you would need as a professional: persuasiveness, communications skills, diplomacy and the talent of making people agree to what you are saying. A levels is brutal, at least in the outside world your mugged or looted by people who don’t know you or don’t care about you. But in A levels the very people you attend classes with you. With the blink of an eye these very people turn against you. No I’m not talking about the silly quarrels that girls have. I’m referring to the manly sport that requires skill, will, determination and complete annihilation of the conscience: MUFTA. Let us explore this new and emerging art

It is amazing how some people are able to talk the other person into giving them a treat. Forget all these public speaking competitions. As with everything else the best come from the streets. Some people are so good at it that sometimes I feel there negotiating skills might bring about an agreement between Palestine and Israel. Its almost like a well balanced recipe: some friendliness a pinch of persuasiveness and a dash of innocence and viola perfecto! Apart from that they are like stalkers: invisible but ever present. They can sense the presence of money instantly. The clever ones work alone because they like me have realized that is what gets you the most benefits and in this regard the the one line that always work is ‘yaar daikh mujhai khila do warna subko bula dnga’. This always has an impact as the mere thought of being surrounded by mufta’s is enough for any one to reconsider their stance.. Sometimes however the more the merrier holds true

Teamwork comes into handy quite often in situations where the prey is quick to mobilize. Operation “resource extraction’ is initiated with immediate effect. First a perimeter is secured to block all escape routes. Then the net tightens, all units tensed looking for the slightest movement. The air becomes still the heartbeats can be heard, the whisper of breathing. The pack jeers and passes intimidating comments ‘paisay nai milay tou tension nai saalay ka mobile baich dengay’. Okay that was a little too filmy =p. point being there is no escape from that situation.

Here I shall stop for if a told you all the secrets I would lose my market share=p. remember with practice comes perfection

The writer is a Fellow of the Society of Mufta, and is one of the top nominations for the mufta of the year award at the annual pats awards 2010